[Originally written May 17, 2006]
"A preponderance of quixotic quincunxes today suggests an inability to relax as we miscalculate the amount of work needed to complete our tasks."
This was the first line of a horoscope I read today.
Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not a subscriber to the Dionne Warwick School of Astrology, I don't base my daily activities around what Sally Brompton says in The Post, and I guess I don't necessarily consider myself a hard-core star gazer. That being said, I do enjoy partaking in a daily ritual that is reading my online horoscope, moreso just for shits-n-gigs (and to satiate my slight touch of OCD).
If you've been keeping up on my blog posts, you know that I've recently been engaged in taking mundane, unnoticeable, ordinary things and happenings, and interpreting them with some sort of cosmic message or meaning. The whole idea behind my thinking is that there are no coincidences, there are no chance meetings, there are no mundane, unnoticeable, ordinary things. Everything in life, from a spider in my bathroom to a certain street sign I pass, must have a reason behind why I took notice. Otherwise, we're all just floating particles in the breeze, with no significant purpose other than to mimic the Kansas song I just referred to (if you're quick - and I have faith that you are - you'll get that.)
I guess as of late, I've been a little too "involved" with life to accept the fact that some things just "are". The phrase "It is what it is" has become one of my favorite things to hate, because over the past few weeks, I've heard it a million times. (Again, note that I probably only heard that phrase once or twice a year until recently...reason? Ponder.)
If it IS what it IS, what IS it? I've never been comfortable accepting the passive, complacent, non-explanation in just about anything...especially something as vague as that. I do thoroughly believe (another time-honored adage) there is a reason for everything. The key is actually taking action in trying to figure out that reason. If you've ever tried to answer a rhetorical question, you know that's not as easy as it sounds. Sure, you can brush things off as coincidental, but if you do that, then why not question the REASON behind the coincidence itself?
Which brings me back to the horoscope quote. For about 2 to 3 months now, I've had dreams that I'm in an elevator, and I always want to get off at the 3rd floor. But because of some miscalculation or elevator malfunction, I always end up at the 5th floor. In some dreams, I've tried to fight it (unsuccessfully, I might add) and attempt to make my way down to the 3rd floor. In others, I have relaxed and accepted my 5th floor fate.
The quote above speaks of "a preponderance of quixotic quincunxes", or, in layman's terms, a superior influence of the romance of impulsive, noble deeds, presented in an arrangement of five objects (much like the arrangement of dots on the five square on a domino).
Granted, those are some big ass words to swallow, but I'm sure after two or three re-reads, you'll grasp the concept (no disrespect, of course). After analyzing that, am I simply romanticizing the idea that I am, on most levels, noble and good? Am I surrounded by magical influences of the arduous fight between impulse and inhibition? And are the quincunxes representative of my five senses? Five fingers? Five toes?
Either way, I'm quite enjoying the exercise my brain has been receiving lately. I've found that mental stimulation, constant theorizing, pontificating, hypothesizing, and rhetorical questioning has possibly brought me to a new level. Not a superior level, but one in which I am serving my true, Sagittarian roots: to search for answers, to right wrongs, to avenge vagueness and strive for truth.
Hey, I'm not a superhero. It just is what it is.